


Breakdown

by senashenta



Series: Greased Lightning and Milkshakes [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stucky - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Greasers, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Greasers, M/M, NSFW, Stucky - Freeform, Teenagers, greasers au, steve is 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5804086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senashenta/pseuds/senashenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An hour after he left already, Bucky shows back up at Steve's place. It's the middle of the night and he doesn't bother to explain why he's there, just climbs into bed with Steve and, well, it's a good thing Steve's Mom is working the night shift. But bedroom antics aside, the real reason Bucky is there is a little more heartbreaking than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nerdoftheworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdoftheworld/gifts).



> THIS IS A “DRABBLE” AHAHAHAHA. Or at least it was supposed to be. Then it ended up clocking in at almost 7 pages long, so YEAH so much for that! XD;
> 
> It takes place in a [Greasers AU](http://archiveofourown.org/series/389899) that [nerdoftheworld](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdoftheworld/pseuds/Nerdoftheworld) and I have which is loosely based on the actual Grease movie. Steve and Bucky are from rival gangs, the Avengers and the Howling Commandos. At school they’re kind of rivals and in off-hours they’re sweethearts who met over the summer. Bucky is this bad boy by day total sweetie dork by night he’s actually adorable. 
> 
> There’s another “drabble” as a follow up to this one that I’m going to write as well, but who knows how long that one will end up being lol. ♥ 
> 
> Also this is not only my first (finished) Stucky thing but my first Stucky smut ack I’m so nervous! >>;;

Normally, the clomping of Bucky’s boots coming up the stairs and along the hall toward his bedroom would have been a welcome sound— _definitely_ wouldn’t have drawn a frown to Steve’s lips. Except that it was currently, what, probably almost two a.m.? And the brunet had already been there and _gone home for the night_ over an hour before. 

Steve was half-asleep, blue eyes blinking at the clock beside his bed when the door banged open and Bucky came inside, then shoved it closed behind him just as loudly. It was a good thing his mother was still at work, or it definitely would have woken her up. “…Buck, what’s goin’ on?”

There was no response as Bucky crossed the room, already shrugging out of his Howling Commandos jacket. He discarded it almost absently, letting the leather fall to the floor with a muffled _whump_. Still more than a little confused, Steve pushed up on his elbows, half-sitting and watching as the other boy approached, kicking his boots off along the way as well.

One hand came up and Steve rubbed at his left eye with the heel of his palm. “You get locked out of your place or somethin’?” If that had happened, it was a good thing he’d given Bucky a key to the house a while back, or the older teen would’ve been left out in the proverbial cold for the night.

Whatever the case, Bucky again didn’t bother to answer his question with words, instead just giving a kind of noncommittal shrug with one shoulder and dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed, the bed frame giving a little, barely-audible creak at the added weight. 

Sighing, Steve sat up a little more and reached over to click on the lamp that sat on the edge of his desk, squinting at the light for a moment before turning his attention back to his boyfriend. Bucky was still quiet, eyes focused on a vague point somewhere on the floor in the middle of the room, expression unreadable. Steve quickly found himself frowning again and lifting a hand to touch against the other boy’s back lightly.

“Hey.”

Still no reply, but Bucky at least looked back at him a little.

Steve tilted his head slightly and tried a bit of a smile. “Buck, what’s up?”

Finally, an answer, though not a very satisfying one: “Nothin’.”

“You really expect me to believe that?” Steve gave a short laugh, “I mean, c’mon, you okay?”

Bucky’s eyes rolled skyward. “I’m _fine_ , Steve.”

“Well then what—”

That garnered an irritated look, frustration flitting across the brunet’s features—and then Bucky shook his head and pressed his lips together before twisting around, shuffling to face Steve and then slinging one leg across the larger boy to straddle his hips, settling heavy over his lap in the space of a breath.

“Bucky—”

The next thing Steve knew Bucky was reaching to grab at the side of his head and leaning in to crash their mouths together.

Not that Steve normally would have _complained_ about kissing Bucky (or having him _in his bed_ , for that matter), but this was definitely more than a little strange—but from that point on the other teen wouldn’t let him speak what was on his mind. Every time he pulled back and tried to ask what the hell was up, Bucky just yanked him back into another bruising kiss, over and over and over again until Steve could barely breathe, never mind _talk_.

Eventually, feeling almost lightheaded, he let himself be pushed down flat onto his back, one of Bucky’s hands fisted in his shirt and the other gripping his hair so hard it actually hurt, fingers twisted into the blond strands with what was clearly some kind of desperation, even if Bucky wouldn’t admit as much.

But despite everything, despite the way Bucky was kissing him so harshly, biting on his lips and leaving them red, grinding down into Steve’s lap, hips rolling and rocking, turning Steve’s brains to mush quickly and efficiently, something managed to seep through: _for some reason, Bucky seemed to need this_.

As soon as that clicked, Steve moved. A grunt and he quickly grabbed at Bucky’s wrist, pulling the other boy’s hand out of his hair with just the tiniest of winces, then gave a pitch of his own hips, twisting and pushing Bucky down onto his back. The bed sheets tangled up between them as he settled over the brunet and tilted his head down to kiss him deeply.

Bucky was a year older—eighteen to Steve’s seventeen—but smaller than him, and Steve was usually able to manhandle him easily if he really wanted to. That didn’t mean that Bucky was a pushover, though. Just because Steve was the one who topped when they fucked didn’t mean that Bucky was _submissive_ —if anything he was the typically dominant one, _definitely_ more assertive than Steve in most ways. Most of the time, anyway.

Now, though, Steve made the decision to try to meet him halfway, kissing him forcefully, pressing down against him and pinning Bucky with his weight, keeping his hold on the older teen’s wrist and firmly holding it captive above his head.

“Steve—ah, fuck—where’s your Ma—?”

“Work.” The reply was muffled. He’d already told Bucky that his mother was working the night shift when he’d been over earlier, but clearly it had slipped his mind. Not that he had seemed to care ten minutes ago when he’d been the one climbing into Steve’s bed. 

“Good—”

“Mmhm.” Steve caught Bucky’s lower lip between his teeth, biting almost harshly, then tilted his head to trail sucking kisses along his throat, down until he could nip at the edge of his collar bone. Only then did he pause and ease back a bit, letting go of Bucky’s wrist and dropping his hands to grab at the edge of the older boy’s t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head, pitching it off to the side a moment later.

Then he was back to mouthing at Bucky’s throat, licking and nipping, his own back arching as he shuffled downward before biting at one of the other teen’s nipples and following that up with sucking a large, dark red hickey just above it. Bucky just panted and moaned, arching and hissing—and Steve had to smirk, trailing two fingers along the sensitive mark and then letting his hand slide up to tangle in Bucky’s hair and yank his head back.

“You ‘n’ your fuckin’ _hickeys_ , you asshole—”

This time it was Steve who didn’t bother replying, instead just mouthing up over the curve of Bucky’s exposed throat, along his jaw, back to his ear. He then proceeded to suck another mark—this one much smaller, but even darker, _more_ sensitive—just behind his right ear. 

Bucky _whined_ and _growled_ and _squirmed_ , chest heaving, and flung an arm up to grab at the side of Steve’s neck, yanking him into another series of hard, frantic kisses, even as he used his other hand to fumble Steve’s tank top off and discard it.

In-between that and Bucky shoving at the blond’s boxer shorts, Steve managed to get Bucky’s jeans undone; and then the older teen shoved at his boyfriend, flipping them again, kicking his pants and underwear off and then flinging the tangled sheets out of the way before climbing back into Steve’s lap, hands bracing against his abdomen, rolling their hips together with a loud moan.

Steve could only choke down a too-loud moan of his own and reach for the desk drawer.

When he fumbled for too long Bucky made an irritated, impatient sound and swatted his hand away, leaning over to dig through the drawer himself, coming out a few seconds later with a bottle of lube and a condom. 

Shoving the condom into Steve’s hand, he squirmed up onto his knees and popped the lid of the lube open, squirting some onto his own fingers. Steve paused at that, brows drawing together in confusion. This wasn’t how it normally went—usually they took their time and Steve helped prep him and—

But no, a breath later Bucky was smearing the lube around to warm it, then reaching back to start fingering himself, and he had barely even started _that_ before he was pushing the first finger inside. Steve opened his mouth to protest because, yeah, okay, it was hot as hell to watch the brunet finger-fuck himself like that, made his dick throb and twitch, but at the same time Bucky’s face was already pinching up a little so _obviously he was rushing it_ —but before he could say anything, Bucky was bowing his back, leaning down to bite harshly against his clavicle (that would leave a mark) and at the same time sliding his free hand between them to palm at Steve’s cock.

“ _Fuck_.”

Bucky’s response was a grunt as he shoved a second finger into himself, deep and too fast. Steve didn’t have to look to know that it had hurt, but Bucky wouldn’t let him do anything about it, instead pushing up to kiss him harshly, again and again and again and Steve got the feeling things were beginning to spiral out of control.

A too-short time later Bucky was pushing himself up again, grabbing the condom from Steve’s hand and ripping it open, rolling it over Steve’s cock as quickly as he could—hands trembling just the slightest bit, again with that edge of desperation. Steve swallowed hard, thickly, mouth working as he tried to come up with words, not sure exactly what to say—

And then Bucky sank down over him, quick and hard, not even giving himself time to adjust, taking all of Steve’s length in one fell swoop.

“Buck—” Steve managed to choke out, hands grabbing at the other boy’s hips in a desperate, too-late attempt to stop him. But Bucky’s ass was already crashing into his lap, the brunet’s face twisting in pain and a loud, shuddering sob ripping from his throat.

And _still_ he tried to move almost immediately.

Shaking his head, Steve gritted his teeth and tightened his hold on Bucky’s hips, fingers digging into his skin, probably leaving little bruises in their wake. He could handle a lot of things, but this was too much. Whatever punishment Bucky was trying to force on himself, he didn’t deserve it, and Steve wasn’t going to be a part of it. Not like this.

“S-Steve—”

“ _No_.”

It took a long time before Steve was willing to let his grip on Bucky loosen, even a little. A long time before the pain subsided and Bucky was comfortable. A lot longer than usual, considering how things had started. But eventually, Steve’s fingers let up a bit, not longer digging furrows into Bucky’s hips; then, a while later began rubbing soothing circles where the bruises were already beginning to come to the surface.

The first time he allowed Bucky to gently, oh-so-lightly rock his hips, Bucky still winced and Steve almost forced him still again. But when his hands began to tighten down Bucky whined—and rolled his hips once more, this time with a little half-sigh. He bit his lip and closed his eyes and Steve let his hands slide down to rest on Bucky’s thighs instead.

The next few minutes were quiet, with careful, light, tentative movements from Bucky and almost none at all from Steve for fear of hurting him, but as time went on and the initial pain subsided Bucky began to rock and grind himself down more heatedly, hands kneading against Steve’s abdomen and chest as he choked on little whimpers and gasps.

Blue eyes closed over, Steve let his own hands rub up and down Bucky’s legs as his boyfriend began to ride him harder, more energetically, though he hadn’t yet allowed himself to thrust his hips upward no matter how much he might have wanted to—

And that was when he realized that the small, choking noises Bucky was swallowing down were _sobs_.

Steve blinked his eyes open and moved his hands back to Bucky’s hips quickly. “Buck?”

No answer. Bucky’s own eyes were squeezed shut, tears wet on the lashes. He was biting his lower lip, his chin tucked into his chest, clearly attempting to muffle himself—and crying. He was crying _so hard_.

“Buck.” Shaking his head, the blond forced Bucky’s hips still again. “Bucky stop. _Stop_.”

There was a silent argument between them for a few breaths as Bucky fought to continue moving, despite the fact that he was weeping. He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t acknowledge that Steve had clearly noticed, just kept trying to fuck himself over the other teen’s lap as if it was the only thing he could think to _do_.

Eventually, though, his motions trailed off, leaving him with his back bowed slightly, shoulders hunched and hands clenched against Steve’s stomach. He was shaking now, breath shuddering in his chest and tears still falling, teeth digging into his lip so hard it was a wonder it wasn’t bleeding.

Steve was still for another moment, just making sure that Bucky had given up the fight before lifting one of his hands. He slid it up the brunet’s arm until he could cup Bucky’s neck, letting his thumb trace along his jaw gently. “Bucky…?”

This time it was Bucky’s turn to shake his head.

“C’mere.” Easing his arms around him, Steve tugged him down until Bucky was settled against his chest. It was kind of awkward, and once Bucky was comfortable Steve had to take the time to actually adjust and ease his now-only-half-hard dick out of the other boy with a sigh.

The instant Bucky felt him doing so, the sobs began anew, harsh and rough, loud and full-bodied—and in-between, hiccuped and whispered and whimpered and barely understandable at all: _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—I’ll be better—I promise—I can be better—I’ll—I’ll be—please, so don’t—don’t leave—I’ll—j-ust stay—I promise I’ll be b-better—!”_

Steve made a helpless noise and clutched his arms around him again. “ _Bucky_ , no! What are you _talking about?_ ” Something had happened, clearly. Something serious had happened.

Against his chest, Bucky continued to sob, his whole frame shuddering now, tears smearing against Steve’s skin. The blond just held him tightly and brought one hand up to pet his hair, soft and clean and lacking the grease usually used to style it, as he listened to Bucky cry and beg him not to leave— _as if he was going anywhere._

It took some time for Bucky to calm down, get a hold of himself. Steve was patient, simply keeping his arms around him, stroking his hair and murmuring soft reassurances, pressing gentle kisses to his temple, his forehead, his cheek, wherever he could reach.

Once the sobs eventually calmed and Bucky’s breathing began to return to normal, Steve expected Bucky to pull away. That kind of a breakdown was totally out of character for him—Steve figured he would be embarrassed and shrug it off, probably yank his clothes on and make for the door immediately.

Instead, Bucky just stayed where he was, cheek resting against Steve’s chest and one hand tucked up under his own chin. He kept his eyes averted though, clearly uncomfortable, maybe even ashamed. His expression was downtrodden, sad, hurt, almost lost. “I’m sorry.”

“Mm-mm.” A little negative sound in his throat. Steve shook his head, still stroking through Bucky’s hair gently. “It’s okay, Buck…”

“No, it’s not…”

“It is.” And then, softly; “do you want to talk about it?”

There was a long silence. Bucky took a shaky breath and Steve could hear him swallow hard, as if fighting back even more tears. “I fucked up. I yelled at Becca and—” Breaking off, he turned his head farther into Steve’s chest. His voice was muffled when he continued: “Carol and Phil wanna adopt us.”

“What?” Steve tilted his head curiously, then smiled. “Buck, that’s grea—”

“ _No_ , it’s _not_.” The words were bitter, bitten out harshly. “They _think_ they want us, but they’ve only had us around for a few months. _It never works out_ , Steve. Everyone always ditches us. They will too. We’re never good enough. It’ll happen eventually, I know it.”

“Buck, c’mon—”

“But Becca, she’s got ‘er hopes up, all excited ‘cause she’s gonna have ‘real parents’ finally, and she’s just gonna get her heart broken!” Bucky’s tone turned frustrated, but still wavered. “Then tonight I went home, and they were sayin’ goodnight to her and she called them _Mom and Dad_ and I just—I _flipped out_. I didn’t mean to, but I just… I fuckin’ _lost it_. Told her she was delusional, we were _never_ gonna have the storybook ending, we were never gonna— _fuck_.”

Heaving a sigh, Bucky pushed himself up and tried to sit, but Steve stubbornly pulled him back down. The older teen made a vaguely annoyed noise and instead slid to the side so that he was no longer laying directly on top of Steve, but allowed Steve to keep his arms around him when the blond refused to remove them.

After a brief moment of consideration, Steve turned a bit and tucked his head down to kiss against Bucky’s hair. “You said ‘we’re never good enough’,” he murmured contemplatively, “and… earlier, you kept saying ‘I’ll be better’.”

Bucky stiffened in his arms and didn’t respond.

Another long silence passed between them, Bucky tense and anxious, Steve considering everything that had been said, everything that had transpired in the last while. After a few minutes, though, Bucky eventually started to relax a bit again, though he still didn’t seem entirely comfortable.

He probably wasn’t sure what Steve would do next. How he would handle the situation, though obviously he wasn’t too perturbed, considering he was still holding Bucky the way he was. It wasn’t like Bucky to be so unsure of himself. He was supposed to be confident, outgoing; he wasn’t supposed to feel as if everything was being yanked out from under him like this.

“I love you, Buck.”

Bucky’s head snapped up so fast it was a wonder his neck didn't crack in two.

Steve was smiling down at him, expression soft and fond. He chuckled when Bucky gaped at him for a second before bringing a hand up to cup the side of his face, then brush his fingers back through brown hair gently.

“ _Wh-what?_ ” Bucky finally managed to croak out.

A gentle kiss against his forehead. “I love you.” This time the words were murmured softly—and Bucky’s eyes began to sting. He quickly squeezed them closed. “ _You don’t have to be better, Buck_.” Steve told him firmly, “ _and you’re already good enough._ I love you, and I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere, not ever. No matter what happens with your foster parents, or Rebecca, or our friends, or _anything else_. Okay?”

And then Bucky was crying again. Not sobbing, not like before, but tears falling anyway, trailing from his eyes almost silently, accompanied by the slightest, softest little hitches of breath. Steve shook his head with a fond look and brushed them away—then made a surprised noise when Bucky abruptly surged up and kissed him.

Not a harsh kiss, not fierce like before, but grateful and wanting and amazing.

The warmth between them at that moment was unlike anything either of them had ever felt before—and later on when they finished what they had started, made love for the first time rather than just fucked, it was incredible despite the occasional hitching little sob.


End file.
